At the beginning of the third quarter of this year, I participated in a workshop on resetting goals for the second half of 2020. I received a card with the message `Give and Receive`.
The teacher of the class advised us: When you pick the card you are holding in your hand, it is a fate, consider it as your own lesson for the rest of the year.
I hid the card in my wallet with great confusion, wondering how I would learn this lesson in the future.
I don’t feel too pressured when I go to work, both my boss and colleagues are very kind, the office is clean and beautiful and close to my home.
Even my parents didn’t understand why I insisted on quitting, and neither did I, for two months after officially quitting my job.
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We relied on each other, encouraged each other that we were right to quit, even though everyone around us said `You two are crazy, Covid is raging and suddenly quit your job`.
My parents urged me to look for a job all the time because the family was having some difficulties, but the main thing was that they didn’t want to see their daughter still single and `unemployed` at the age of puberty.
For someone who has quite a bit of combat experience like me, those `thank you` emails were a `painful blow`, I couldn’t understand why I kept failing while before, I seemed to
They have turned me from an extremely calm person every time I entered the exam room or interview to become weaker, afraid of everything and extremely nervous and restless.
I decided to leave everything behind in my hometown, moving to the South with only an interview appointment and a little savings from working at my old job.
Entering Ho Chi Minh City with an empty mind, a racing heart and unprecedented anxiety.
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The truth is not like that.
Every morning after he goes to work, I immerse myself in a deep sea of thoughts, mostly negative, not seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, my mind never stops thinking, except when going out to eat and have coffee with the two of us.
I wonder what I am doing here, right now, what I live for, what I live for, what is my purpose in life.
Calm down, meet my brother at 8pm, the two of us go around the city, eat a bowl of chewy beef noodle soup, order milk tea and cakes just 20 minutes before the shop closes, I see this life
I parachuted at 15,000 feet in Northern Australia just a few hours before flying south of the country.
A few days later, my dad texted me asking how the situation was and if he still had money for him to send.
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I borrowed a motorbike to go around Saigon, the sky was cloudy and the wind was blowing gently, the light, not harsh sunlight comforted my soul, my mind was clearer, life was still beautiful.
Everyone who asked me said the words `still fine` or `still under control`, but in reality many times it wasn’t like that.
I always want to make my parents and children absolutely proud of myself, that I am a very brave person, very able to control the situation, and can solve all my own problems.
I have never confessed once when I was most stuck, most confused, most desperate.
Now, even if I want to, I can’t tell my dad that I don’t need his money, and that I won’t `disturb` him and `let go` of my mother’s offer.
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The lesson of `giving and receiving` coming at this time is so meaningful to me, at the right time, at the right time.
I learned a `life-long` lesson, still having faith in myself after so many times wanting to end it all – that’s a dark, negative thought that needs to be avoided that appears a few times a year.
The game has just begun, the winner is the one who is more persistent, stubborn, resilient and stubborn.
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